Featuring
The Hothead and The Ice Maiden
by
Sam James
What a strange idea we have about the traits that define our makeup--and the false concepts we apply to them: we tend to excuse the bad ones by claiming "They run in the family." Funny thing, though, most of the time we not only let the bad things rule us, we choose them to, using that age old excuse. Then we call it something else which covers our bad choice: The Blame: I got mad because you irritated me. I got this disease because alcoholism runs in the family. I got on drugs because they say it's in my genes and now it's a disease I'll have to live with the rest of my life. I'm a pervert, so I'm sick and can never be cured. My uncle was one and he's in the clink for life. It's a disease and I'm stuck with it. I'm a thief, murderer, liar, etc. because.........\
You all know what I'm talking about, because you all, including me, have any number of these sorts of "diseases" with which to contend, and it is always someone else's fault.
Never mind that this "disease" is in reality what the Bible calls "SIN", and that each of us has an old sin nature from whence these sinful trends stem, but also, we have been given a WILL, a free will in which to decide, to choose, what acts we will do in and to ourselves, and to others.
It is not true that, in doing these sinful acts, we hurt only ourselves. It is not true that if you give in to your sin---vent your anger, do the drug, kill yourself slowly by drinking yourself to death, live your own selfish way running all over anyone who gets in your way, preying upon others who are helpless against you, bullying them with words, weapons, or violence, or the subtle cruelty of a harsh glance that says, "You will do what I want and what I say---OR ELSE"--that you damage only yourself.
The trouble is, those of us who give our hearts to the max to those we love at first do not see disaster coming, nor the peril, nor the heartache, nor the anguish and tears that our loved ones gradually heap upon us in the name of "Disease" and the game of "Blame". When we do finally realize the deep pit our sympathy and compassion and gullibility have dragged us into, probably it is too late for us to salvage the intimate trust and deep love we had for that one for whom we cared so much, and to whom we gave our life's savings, opened our doors to a roof over their heads, helped them, we thought, to get back on their feet.
Not just our money, but our prayers, our time, our trust, our hearts, our devotions, we wasted on those who bullied us and whom we let bully us because we loved them--until we had nothing left to give.
And then, our expectations that we would receive not only gratitude, but kindness in return and a normal life where we all lived Happily Ever After.
Well, folks, in reality--it ain't gonna happen.
Let me tell you about heartache. For years a loved one was my close buddy, until secrecy invaded. The subtle changes began and I didn't see them. I believed lies. I believed in the fairy tale that my children would all grow up to love the Lord as I did, to put Him first in their lives, to live a wholesome, productive, law-abiding family life.
I always was a dreamer, wanting things to be the way I thought they were.
But monsters are created by dreamers, somehow, by the will of the one they hold dearest. The selfish man or woman who thinks only of himself, uses you until you are drained of vital life, beaten to the ground by Real Life when you open your eyes and realize you are hated, not loved. You are despised and vengeance is taken against you.
Both in words and actions---a beloved child is kept from you for spite by those you thought loved you.....until you look into their eyes.
"I hate you. I can't stand you. I wish you were dead. I want to kill you."
And you can see it in their eyes! In the horrible temper tantrums they rant and rave at you: The blame you are for everything bad that ever happened to them, in the slicing you to pieces like sides of meat in the hands of a mad butcher. The maligning to others how bad you are, the lies they tell about you.
No matter that your loyalty and love for them has caused you to be used by them; the thousands of dollars (that you couldn't afford) you put out to bail them out these last few years. The silent cringing at every hammered, shouted words of anger, the terrible selfishness you see in the monster that one has become, the eyes that have turned to ice and cold anger against you..
Then comes the sweetness. Not even, "I'm sorry." Just the idea that you should welcome them with open arms next time they want or need you, or something from you, as though nothing had ever happened. Turning, once again, your growing indifference to them, upon you: "How come you're treating me this way? I didn't do nothin'. :. " ... Expecting the best from all friends and family, and prayers of desperation answered by the Lord---but nothing ever given in return. Living the lie under the guise of Christianity to get your sympathy so you will feel sorry for them--using your own loyalty to the Savior to gain for themselves.
In reality, choosing the dark side of life ruled by Satan, rather than the light of the world, Jesus Christ. Trusting in the wrong side.
Con artists from the beginning and to the end, to get what they want. Laughing all the way about how stupid you are to have been taken in, once again--how easy you are to "put the make on"... Members of your family, who you thought loved you--one beating you over the heart with dangerous black temper, the other taking from you a child you love, telling everyone how terrible you are.
But there is hope. Keep lookin' up. While there is life, there is hope.
From The Living Word of God
The Holy Bible
"The heart is desperately wicked, and deceitful above all things."
"All have sinned, and come short of the Glory of God."
"For the wages of sin is death (spiritual), but the Gift of God is Eternal Life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
"For God so loved the world that he gave His only uniquely born Son, that whosoever (you and me) shall not perish, but have everlasting life."
"There is a way which seemeth right unto man, but the end thereof is death."
"There is none righteous, NO NOT ONE." (no, good people's goodness doesn't save them. It is the RIGHTEOUSNESS of Christ which saves)
"Salvation if not of works, lest any man should boast."
"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved."
"He who has not the Son (Christ) has not The Father (God), and shall not see God".
and, the prayer for Christians who have sinned, 1 John 1:9
"If we confess{name our sins) our sins, (to God) He is able (faithful and just) to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
For the critics---if God can save a terrible person like me, He can certainly save a "good" person such as you.
In praise of His name, gratitude for Him, that He is able to fix all of the above.
Amen.
